This lockdown has me feeling like I need to write some feelings down. I need to remember this. I am not usually the type of person who falls into "the depths of despair." I am not usually the person who gets anxiety so bad they can't breathe. But, as Alan Cummings says, "Everybody has their level."
I am not okay. No one is okay. And, that's supposed to be okay, I guess.
I see a lot of posts about how you just need to try your best to make it through this mess and not worry about your short comings. I am not sure I really know how to do that.
Things that are making this hard for me:
-Grieving the loss of my projects/activities
-Grieving the loss of my time while the kids were at school
-Trying to work
-Trying to let my husband work
-Getting behind in school when all I have to worry about is a first grader because I have straight up given up on Preschool.
-Trying to keep my house in any semblance of order.
-Trying to eat better because my liver hurts no matter what I eat.
Guys. I can't do all of this. I try to do all of it, and end up doing none of it. When you try to do a little bit of too many things, nothing gets done. You can't check off any boxes. But, focusing on one, just so you can check it off, also doesn't make sense because you are going to have that box again tomorrow. So, everything just keeps getting further and further behind.
How do you cope? How do you balance? What brings you joy? When the stress is getting to be too much for you, what do you do?
